Do I Really Want It?

The directions state one hour to install. Tools needed; a Phillips screw driver and pliers.


I’ve been wanting a ceiling fan for years. This is a game I play with myself. It’s a wanting but not allowing myself to get it game.


I’ve wanted a large TV. You know, one of the fancy 50 inch flat screen HD TV’s. They are so cheap these days. I think they might be around $350 for a decent TV. What we have is a 13 inch TV we put on a wooden footstool. (pictured right) You have to sit within a foot or two to see it. But it still works and gets all the channels. It’s just small. Small is good, right? People get movies on a wrist watch these days. I only watch Star Trek on BBC America and the Sci-Fi channel. So, it seems like such a waste of time, money and space. I’d have to devote a portion of a wall to this monstrosity of a TV. Then I’d have to get someone to install it. Then I’d probably find myself sucked into the massive digital life-like picture and watch, watch, and watch and become mesmerized by this thing hanging and drawing my attention. When I was a kid the house rules were that the black and white TV wasn’t turned on until 7:00pm. There was no clicker. I was the clicker. Dad or Mom would tell who ever was lying on the floor closest to the TV to change the channel. I’ve carried the ‘no TV till 7:00pm’ rule into my life. I fear that with a large 50 incher I’d be tempted to turn it on in the morning and leave it on all damn day. I’d become a TV Zombie. Oh, and then I’d feel obligated to invite people over to ‘watch the game’ or a movie. I might have to become sociable and a people-person. Not gonna happen! Not in this life! Done with humans. This blog is about as close as I want to get to humans…if indeed any humans read this. I just don’t have a good enough reason to allow one into my life.



And the fan. I’ve learned that when instructions say it should take an hour to install you double or triple it. It took me 4 hours, but I took a couple breaks and tried to be meticulous and mindful with each step. I’ve learned that when instructions say all you’ll need is a Phillips screw driver it’s best to haul every damn tool you own up to the room and be ready to make a trip to the hardware store. Best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.

And I carry the same philosophy to this fan. I’ve wanted one for years and I’ve had the money and the time, but do-I-really-want-it? I mean…REALLY. I’ve lived so long without one, surely I can squeak out another 15 years till I croak without the fan.

I broke down. I bought it mainly because I’m getting ‘night sweats’ with the hormones I’m taking. I installed it and I only swore once…maybe twice. And the most important thing is that it actually works! Haha!

Usually, if I ‘think‘ I want something and I wait long enough I’ll stop wanting it. Same goes with people. Wouldn’t it be nice to join a group, have some buddies to pal around with…umm..lets wait on that. Actually, no, I’m fine. Me and my new fan are just fine!



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