Do I Really Want It?

The directions state one hour to install. Tools needed; a Phillips screw driver and pliers.

Liars.

I’ve been wanting a ceiling fan for years. This is a game I play with myself. It’s a wanting but not allowing myself to get it game.

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I’ve wanted a large TV. You know, one of the fancy 50 inch flat screen HD TV’s. They are so cheap these days. I think they might be around $350 for a decent TV. What we have is a 13 inch TV we put on a wooden footstool. (pictured right) You have to sit within a foot or two to see it. But it still works and gets all the channels. It’s just small. Small is good, right? People get movies on a wrist watch these days. I only watch Star Trek on BBC America and the Sci-Fi channel. So, it seems like such a waste of time, money and space. I’d have to devote a portion of a wall to this monstrosity of a TV. Then I’d have to get someone to install it. Then I’d probably find myself sucked into the massive digital life-like picture and watch, watch, and watch and become mesmerized by this thing hanging and drawing my attention. When I was a kid the house rules were that the black and white TV wasn’t turned on until 7:00pm. There was no clicker. I was the clicker. Dad or Mom would tell who ever was lying on the floor closest to the TV to change the channel. I’ve carried the ‘no TV till 7:00pm’ rule into my life. I fear that with a large 50 incher I’d be tempted to turn it on in the morning and leave it on all damn day. I’d become a TV Zombie. Oh, and then I’d feel obligated to invite people over to ‘watch the game’ or a movie. I might have to become sociable and a people-person. Not gonna happen! Not in this life! Done with humans. This blog is about as close as I want to get to humans…if indeed any humans read this. I just don’t have a good enough reason to allow one into my life.

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And the fan. I’ve learned that when instructions say it should take an hour to install you double or triple it. It took me 4 hours, but I took a couple breaks and tried to be meticulous and mindful with each step. I’ve learned that when instructions say all you’ll need is a Phillips screw driver it’s best to haul every damn tool you own up to the room and be ready to make a trip to the hardware store. Best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.

And I carry the same philosophy to this fan. I’ve wanted one for years and I’ve had the money and the time, but do-I-really-want-it? I mean…REALLY. I’ve lived so long without one, surely I can squeak out another 15 years till I croak without the fan.

I broke down. I bought it mainly because I’m getting ‘night sweats’ with the hormones I’m taking. I installed it and I only swore once…maybe twice. And the most important thing is that it actually works! Haha!

Usually, if I ‘think‘ I want something and I wait long enough I’ll stop wanting it. Same goes with people. Wouldn’t it be nice to join a group, have some buddies to pal around with…umm..lets wait on that. Actually, no, I’m fine. Me and my new fan are just fine!

 

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