For me it’s best to ask myself if I really want something and then wait for some time to see if it’s really something I want and need. I mean, some thing. A desk, chair, TV, ceiling fan or some material object.
On the other hand there are life experiences that may only appear in my life once. There’s no certainty the conditions will come together again to make this situation arise.
I was married when I was 24. We decided to drive across the country from Boston to Sacramento, CA. We had only just gotten married and she had a brother in Sacramento who claimed the weather was perfect and I could easily find a job. She was an RN newly graduated from Boston University School of Nursing. She would have no problems finding work. So, we packed up and headed to sunny Sacramento for an adventure.
There’s a saying; People are like fish. After three days they begin to stink.
We had spent many days driving across country. We arrived in Arizona and we came to the intersection of the Grand Canyon. All I had to do was turn right and drive another 3 hours to see the spectacular Grand Canyon. She said, “Turn right! Lets see the Grand Canyon!!”
I said, “Nah. We’ve been driving for weeks and I just want to get to Sacramento. I’m sick of driving. (and I was sick of being cooped up with her in a car, but I didn’t tell her that. We were newly weds!!) We can come back another time.”
This led to a major fight, but I kept on driving straight. When it was her turn to drive I got out of the car to switch places and she took off leaving me stranded on Rt. 66 in the middle of no where. I sat on a rock for hours and watched the sun begin to set. She finally came back and we finished the ride to Sacramento…mostly in silence.
Long story short.
We got divorced in Sacramento after only 10 months of marriage. She found another guy who would maybe take her to see the Grand Canyon. I moved back to Boston.
33 years later
I remarried, two kids and have been to the Grand Canyon twice. Great place. Took my breath away when I first looked over the edge. Amazing place.
One day for some unknown reason I popped a letter to my first wife, of 33 years ago, brother asking how she was. I thought she would still be in California. Two months later I get a letter back from her. We connected and had lunch. She was back on the east coast. She told me the guy she divorced me for in Sacramento turned out to be an alcoholic wife beater. Nasty guy and she was trapped in that relationship for 33 years. And worse, he never took her to the Grand Canyon.
I often wonder how our lives would have been different if I had taken that right on Rt. 66 in Arizona 33 years ago. Some things ya can’t wait for. Life moves on.