Well, I’ve not graduated from a certified college. Not Harvard, MIT, USC, CalTech or even Cape Cod Community College.
However, I have watched some YouTube videos on various topics ranging from Jerry Seinfeld; comedy, Allan Watts; philosophy, Bill Stoppard; inline skating, Ardra Neala; ASMR, Byron Katie; life techniques, Sean Carroll; physicist, Sam Harris; self acclaimed smart guy and MORE. I mean…LOTS MORE. There was one especially informative video on “How To Change A License Plate Light Bulb”, which left me speechless with it’s degree of accuracy and information. I was able to change my own LPLB in 15 minutes flat. No lie! And lets not forget probably THE best video to watch and which will change your life in ways you can’t even imagine. You’ll be scratching your head and pondering this video for years. You’re mother will be completely angered at having wasted so many hours of her life fumbling and struggling. How To Fold A Fitted Sheet. Amazing and profound.
I know there are people out there who have logged many more hours of YouTube schooling than I have, but I think my unique and diverse sampling qualifies me to be an expert on…everything. You name it, I know it. And if I don’t know it I will be like Neo in the Matrix. I’ll plug my head into the YouTube Matrix and learn Jujitsu or Kung Fu or whatever you need to make your life easier, safer, more profitable.
I will do this for you so you don’t have to! You can go and live your life and I will send you the information you need. Once again, using the movie The Matrix for an analogy, I’ll be like Tank, the Operator. Tell me what you need. I’m on it.
Of course this service has a small monetary value. I charge $9.99 for the first information download and $7.98 for all future information downloads. (a $2.00 administration fee to get you plugged into the system) I have package plans we can discuss such as the monthly unlimited plan for only $49.99. All the information you need, when you need it and downloaded to your device within 12 hours or its free. And of course our satisfaction guarantee or your money back.
If I fail you for any reason at all, I will send you my computer and your money back. Matter of fact, I’ll send you all my money too! I’ll close up shop here, put on my shoes and walk off into the world….you know….out there….where the air is….and dirt….rocks….shit to trip over and fall on. Some even call it, The Real World. Haha..must be a joke.
I have the answers YOU NEED!! Don’t hesitate. Operators (Tank) are standing by!