The Intentional Accidental Look Away

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You know the situation. This person is an acquaintance, not in the category of friend. You seem to have the same life cycle where you meet at the coffee shop at the same time every day. Or maybe it’s the gym. You’ve spoken a couple times while standing in line. Maybe you’ve shared a few laughs when someone farted in line. Maybe it was you that farted? So, you chuckled and made that quick connection, but that’s as far as you intend this relationship to go.

There’s something about this person that tells you to keep him/her at arms length, but you keep meeting day after day after day. It was fun at first, but now it’s becoming uncomfortable. You have zero to say to this person. Zero you want to say. You think about changing your timing just to avoid this person. This person you don’t know anything about and you’d like to keep it that way.

So, you’re walking to the coffee shop and that person is walking out. Now comes The-Intentional-Accidental-Look-Away.  All of a sudden there’s something in your purse or wallet you suddenly need. You begin digging in your purse or pants wallet as you walk, but you’re not really looking for anything. You’re acting as if there’s something you need, but you’re really avoiding eye contact with that person as you pass each other. Or maybe you suddenly turn around because there’s something you’ve forgotten in your car. There’s nothing you’ve forgotten. It’s just a ploy to avoid doing the same fake smile hi you’ve been doing daily for weeks, months. You’re sick of it! Sick of seeing and doing this ritual with this person every god damn day.

Then you realize it’s not the person that’s the problem. It’s the rut you’re in and this person reminds you that you’re stuck in a deep rut. And maybe they are too. Time to change.

So, you scope out a new coffee shop and begin the exact same rut somewhere else.

Maybe you move to a new city, state, or country…..and begin digging the exact same rut. You think, ‘I thought I threw this fucking shovel away?’, but you didn’t.

Then you realize the rut is in your head and there’s no escaping it.

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