Ya know the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results.
I keep a daily journal and have for years. I was reading some things I wrote in 2002. I could have been reading yesterday’s journal entry. I was complaining, whining and writing about the same things that I am these days. Faces and circumstances have changed, but my whining about those circumstances were exactly the same.
Now, I’ve done a lot of practices that should have made real changes in how I deal with life. They should have opened me up, opened my eyes, softened me, and my perception of life should be different from 2002. I should be wiser. That’s 15 years ago. WTF!! I don’t even want to list all the modalities and teachers I’ve studied. I was listening to a Jordan Peterson talk (ya, I know..another talking head) and he said; it’s damn hard to change.
From my experience, it’s nearly impossible to make yourself change. My experience tells me that the best catalyst for change is the passage of time. The body changes. The circumstances shift. Maybe geography is different. Slightly different people enter your life. I get older and careers have come and gone. Finances are different. Time goes by.
It’s like watching the ocean’s wave crash on the shore. Each wave looks similar but different. The ocean has done nothing to change those waves, but the wind shifts, blows harder, softer, sand underneath shifts, and undercurrent runs faster and stronger and then weakens. Conditions change over time and the tide goes out. All the fussing, wailing and learning stuff to change is merely good entertainment while waiting for the tide to go out.
Like Popeye says, “I yam’s what I yam’s and that’s all that I yam’s.” Toot-Toot